It's all about looks or is it?
It’s all about looks or is it?
Recently social scientists have come to understand that physical appearance is not the only aspect of ourselves that is attractive to others. Our personalities influence how other people see us. In addition, our confidence, emotions and social ease determines how we are perceived by the people around us.
About a decade ago, two researchers (Mehrabian and Blum, 1997) began their research with a simple idea. They wondered what physical features were the most attractive to the opposite sex. In essence, they posed the question of what combination of characteristics really make someone attractive and desirable to another person. Was it body type, personality, posture, grooming or any of hundreds of different features?
The answers to their research question may be surprising to many people. Their results should also make us realise how much control we really have over how other people see us. This is an important question since much of our self-esteem is often based on the feedback we get from other people. It is especially important for people who may not feel good about how they think they are seen by other people. This includes people with and without a disability.
The surprising results of this research study pointed out that, by far, the most attractive features of a person fall under the category of “confidence”. Specifically their research showed that it didn’t matter how often someone went to the gym or whether someone had a straight nose or eyes that were crossed! Physical characteristics were not high on the list at all, confidence was!
So how do I look confident?
- Let’s start with belief, you have to believe that you can…
- Stand up as TALL as you can, like you’re a puppet and somebody just pulled the string that’s attached to the top of your chest
- Pull your shoulder blades down and back as far as possible – This will feel really weird if you spend a lot of time hunched over a desk
- Pick your chin up and look straight ahead – stop looking down while walking around, there’s a whole world out there for you to see